Peaceful Disconnections

I’ve been struggling with some emotional stuff for several months so forgive me because it’s been a while since my last post. Apart from an ongoing pandemic, adjusting and readjusting to the ever-changing new normal, community, and social engagement, I’ve had to make some necessary evaluations to maintain my peace. Candidly, I’ve been in a funk. The heaviness of the racially intense political environment impacts me in ways that I’ve never experienced. Consequently, I wasn’t sleeping. I was eating emotionally and then getting upset about my weight gain. I was more snappy than usual towards my husband and our children. Moreover, I was highly irritated by every thing and every one. With all that was going on in my personal life coupled with the daily load of my professional life, I felt whooped. I wanted to separate myself from faux smiles and small talk, neither of which I do well, while grieving and mourning. I had to disconnect to find a small glimmer of peace.

Now, before you unplug your computer and power down your cell phone, let me explain what I mean when I say disconnect. (Obviously, I could not do either of the things I’ve mentioned because I still work a day job.)

By disconnect, I mean I had to remove myself from the noise of others (similar to being in a crowded room and zoning out). I felt like I couldn’t hear myself anymore. Everything I thought or felt was explicitly related to something I saw on the news or read on the internet and had not fully processed the information to determine what emotion to assign to what I was hearing. The numbers of death increasing, or the infection rates increasing, or the uncertainty of consumer confidence, or the debate of science versus conspiracy theory, was just too much for my peaceful soul to absorb. Contrary to what you may think, it wasn’t as easy as just turning off the television or not answering the phone. It was an exercise of mental agility and intentional, perpetual self-reflection.

It is not always easy, when wearing multiple hats, to go to a quiet space. I’m sure all parents would agree. Disconnecting allowed me to be in a room full of other people’s energy {and noise} and deflect it. I do this with my children but had never thought to do it for anything else. (I call it mom magic.) It’s the ability to be in a room full of people and quiet their voices so that you can focus. I know teachers have this ability as well. It takes a lot of practice but even practicing is calming. It requires you to find a seat and a focal point. Measure your breathing (example: inhale 1, 2, 3 – exhale 1, 2, 3) and give your entire focus to the selected focal point. Continue to breathe until you hear the voice in your head clearly and only a murmur of everything else. Be sure when you start practicing that you tell yourself something calming to hear and only things that will uplift you. And, don’t be bothered that you needed to take some time because it’s yours to take.

I encourage you to disconnect as often as you need! I’ve found it to be most helpful. Let me know if this works for you.

Now, get you some peace!

More later.

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