If you’ve read my other articles, you noticed that I am all about inner-peace, self-reflection, and self-care. That seems a bit self- focused, right?
Let me assure you that it is not. I recognize that not everyone understands what I mean when I say, “get you some peace.” The story of how I got to this chapter in my life is also unclear, so let me explain. The year is 2020, and the world is facing a pandemic. I, like many others, have been working from home, managing two school-aged children, caring for a husband who was COVID19 positive, all while managing house chores. For a period, I was unable to find rest. My attention was all over the place, and I found myself stressed out exhausted.
Sound familiar? Please tell me I am not the only one who has been holding it together while the rest of the world seems to be falling apart.
One night, after everyone was down for sleep, I took a few selfish moments to reflect. I turned the television off, changed my bedroom lighting to a dark purple hue, and allowed the silence to surround me. It had been months since I had a moment like this to myself, and that was the problem. The local and national news outlets were full of doom and gloom. My Facebook and Instagram timelines were full of “R.I.P. messages. Coronavirus, (COVID19), had changed everything we had known to be conventional.
I used to run to the masseuse or the nail salon when I needed some self-care. One hour, every two weeks, did the trick. Now businesses were closed by government mandate, and there was no way for me to have my me time unless I prioritized it. That was the hard part! How was I supposed to get me time with a house full of people, more specifically a house full of men?
Easy! I had to show them that I needed it.
Since there is no appropriate way to ask for me time without sounding selfish to your significant other or your children, you simply must show them. You have heard the adage; you teach people how to treat you. It is that easy.
Now, before you start ignoring the people in your home, you will have to do some preliminaries.
First, determine what ‘me-time’ looks like to you. Defining me-time means knowing how much time you will need and where you plan to use the time you are taking. After you’ve decided how much time you need and where you plan to spend it, mark the date on your calendar. This makes it real.
Second, plan what to do with your time and prepare anything that you might need before you take this time. For me, it’s a candle and lighter, music, water, my journal, and my favorite writing pen. The goal is not to spend any of the time you’ve allotted for me time preparing.
Third, be strategic with how you use your time. If you’re planning to take a walk in a park, but the weather forecast won’t allow you to be great, you need a plan b. You also need to plan and prepare for a plan b and be ready to implement it if necessary.
Fourth, and most importantly, take the time and use it wisely! Coin this time as sacred. Make this time equally as crucial as going to work, going to the gym, or going to a doctor’s visit.
Fifth and finally, repeat 1-4, at least twice a week. There are 1440 minutes in a day. You give your job 40 hours a week. You can certainly afford to take thirty minutes for yourself twice a week, right?
So DO IT!
The house won’t fall apart, and the kids will not die of need. Your significant other will soon understand and learn to appreciate your newer, more peaceful self.
Now, get you some peace.