The Voice of Peace

I have been happily married for nearly twenty-one years. My husband and I started dating in 1995, shortly after I graduated from high school. We got married in 1999 and started our family a short time after. One would have thought that being in the house for nearly two months would have driven us mad. Interestingly, that’s not the case for us. I’ve enjoyed this time reconnecting, reflecting, reassuring, and reaffirming our marital bliss. So you might imagine that when I hear the divorce rate is expected to increase due to the COVID-19 stay-at-home orders, it saddens me. As a child, and several years after, my granny would say to me, ‘Child, if teeth and tongue fall out, men and women will too.’ She would tell me that whenever I called her to complain about something my husband had done to upset me. She would never allow me to finish my complaint, but; she always made me feel better. I did not understand her “teeth and tongue” analogy until my mid-thirties. During that time, life had thrown me lemons in the form of a hormonal imbalance. Granny’s point was when (and not if), you accidentally bite your tongue, you can’t just evict your teeth. And, after you’ve bitten your tongue, your teeth must allow your tongue an opportunity to heal. The same is true in any relationship. I wish I would have learned this lesson earlier in life. So, here’s the thing. The point of my granny’s teeth and tongue analogy was that conflict is a natural part of life. And unfortunately, some conflicts are unavoidable. Conflict, regardless of how it comes, should not disrupt my peace. It may cause me to take some time for intense self-reflection and to evaluate the situation. But, peace is ever-present with me, encouraging me to keep calm. Think about it. The voice in your head that tells you to calm down, sit down, or not to respond, that’s PEACE! Acknowledge that voice and take his/her advice. We need to affirm within ourselves that peace is not the opposite of conflict. The opposite of conflict is to compromise. And although a compromise is laced with things I strongly dislike,(ex: pleasantries, perspectives, perception), it does require external stimuli and peace does not. Indeed, my husband and I do not always agree. We may even raise our voices at times with passionate expression. But, we’ve learned to live like teeth and tongue. As you settle into your day, I hope you consider better acquainting yourself with the always present voice directing your right decisions. Try to make that voice the loudest one you hear! Now, get you some peace! More later…

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